Friday’s Frame ~ The mute button

Oh pacifier, I’ve hated you from the start.

You see, here’s the thing: I was the mom who didn’t let my baby get a pacifier in the hospital. You know, first-time parents who really didn’t know up from down. Initially, I didn’t want it to interfere with breastfeeding, and hindsight, that was actually a pretty smart thought. (I must have read it somewhere online, which most definitely makes me a qualified pacifier expert.)

Well, that amazingly well thought out plan lasted ohhhh, about three weeks. Three weeks in was when the sleep deprivation really set in.

Nursing was going great. So great, actually, that Gracey was using me as a pacifier. Baby Girl didn’t realize Mommy needed sleep, too. In addition, our pediatrician (whom I love) told us pacifiers have been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS. Really? OK, done. SOLD. Say no more. Enter the BINKIE. Or nuk. Or paci. The mute button. Or whatever the heck you call it. The little plastic thing that comes in about 53 different sizes and 29 different brands.

It could have been most definitely was the hormones, but I think I cried when we gave it to her the first time. As we hovered over her sleeping soundly in the bassinet, pacifier in her precious little mouth, Tommy put his arm around me and said, “It’s OK Katie, she’s still our little angel.” (True story.)

Fast forward four months. I should have trusted my tears! Actually, I take that back — the pacifier has been a lifesaver in numerous public situations. You know, when you’re in a restaurant, about to enjoy the first full meal to hit your lips in weeks, and waaaaahhhh, Gracey is upset. In comes the pacifier. Or, when you realize the only way to keep your child from crying at every red light is by giving her a binkie. Better yet, while going through the drive thru to get the one thing I still can eat (sweet tea) at the place we shall not mention … thank you pacifier, you’ve saved the tiny moments of quiet left in my days. (This commercial sums it up beautifully.) The things are kind of like magic … except when they’re not. “Not,” meaning, when you get up five times a night to pop it back in her mouth because she cries when it falls out. Siiiiigh.

So here we are. In Pacifier Purgatory. She won’t sleep without it, yet she can’t put it back in herself. It falls out, she cries. I’ve asked advice from a few friends. I’ve Google’ed it about 19 different times. (OK 119 times.) I’ve tried letting her whimper. I even tried letting her cry … but that makes me cry. Some say the only way is to take it away cold turkey. Others say to pop it back in until they can reach it themselves (that will be months). And others say to take it away gradually.

Well, cold turkey was torture. (She got so angry I thought someone stole my sweet, sweet angel baby and replaced her with devil baby.) Popping it in five times a night is exhausting. And taking it away gradually is … well … gradual torture.

So give it to me, friends. Can you (or should you) really take a pacifier away from a 4-month-old? Can you take it away “only at night” and still give it to her in public, during the day? And oh, how exactly do you go about “taking it away?” Or, should I just stick it out and let her have it, even if it means waking up a hundred times a night to pop it back in. (Who’s running the show here?) I love our baby girl more than life — I just want to do what’s best for us all.

And just in case you’ve forgotten, here’s the face I’m dealing with …

(See the pacifier?)

Any and all advice is welcome below. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by! Only one more week until wedding season begins! 🙂

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